One of a partner’s first big milestones is making sure their partner’s first Mother’s Day is a special one. Being a first-time mom is exciting – bonding with your baby, seeing that first smile or laugh – but it’s an exhausting time as well. There’s no question that all moms deserve a day of appreciation.

But making that day special means something different for every mom. So before you start planning, think about what the new mom in your life would want, not what sounds cool to you.  (As cool as an afternoon of paintball might sound, your partner may want something a little more restful.) 

Here are a few things to consider while you plan the perfect Mother’s Day for your first-time mom. 

1. Date night

The first year of parenthood can put a lot of stress on a relationship. Often, new parents are in survival mode, just trying to manage the new addition to the family and adjust to their new reality. This is why having a date night might be the perfect way to celebrate Mother’s Day. 

Get a babysitter and go out, just the two of you. Take the time to reconnect, talk about anything other than your new baby, and just revel in having an evening of adult time.

And here’s an extra tip: Make sure it’s dinner instead of a movie. Talking over a nice meal beats sitting in silence for two hours any day, but especially on Mother’s Day. 

2. Spa day

It’s a classic for a reason: being a mother takes a toll on both body and mind, so a day at the spa is an ideal gift for any new mom. Give your new mom the day off and send her to her favorite spa and salon for a day (or even an hour) while you take the reins at home.

If a spa day isn’t in the budget, put together a spa basket (think bath bombs, soaking salts, an eye mask, and mimosa fixings) and get yourself and the baby out of the house for a few hours while mom rejuvenates. 

3. Coupons, the gift that keeps on giving

Yup, coupons. How many times have you wanted a “Get Out of Jail Free” card when it’s time to change a diaper or get up for a 2 am feeding? Here’s your chance to give your new mom some much-needed support while flexing your creative muscles a bit.

A coupon book with some gems like “Diaper Change,” “Night Shift,” and “Clean-Up Duty” will keep new moms feeling appreciated and seen long after Mother’s Day ends. (Just don’t put expiration dates on them.)  

4. Know your target

When you have a baby, certain things just don’t happen as often: leisurely breakfasts on weekends, mid-afternoon naps, getting lost in a good book, binge-watching Vanderpump Rules all afternoon.

What does your partner miss the most from the pre-baby days? Make sure that her first Mother’s Day has at least one of those elements. 

Does your partner like a long, leisurely brunch followed by a nap or an afternoon at the park? Make it happen. A heart-pumping hike up the local peak? Do it. Whatever your partner’s been missing these last few months, bring it back from Mother’s Day. 

5. Tug at the heartstrings

That first Mother’s Day is a big deal, so be sure to include a sentimental gift to help her look back on that first year of motherhood with fondness.

A photo book of some highlights of the first year or jewelry with the baby’s birthstone or engraved with the baby’s initials are all great ways to commemorate that first year. Bonus points if your gift achieves “happy tears” status.

6. Don’t (DON’T) forget the Mother’s Day card

This sounds like a no-brainer…until you’re racing to get to the store to grab a Mother’s Day card that you can hastily sign in your driveway before your partner wakes up. In all the planning leading up to the big day, it’s easy to forget the card. Believe me.  

And don’t worry about picking the right card at the store—it can be a lot more meaningful to make your own. Try putting the baby’s handprint or footprint on the card, or print out a photo your new mom may not have seen yet and use that as the cover.

And don’t forget to add a sweet message to make your partner feel appreciated and loved.

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