A [real-life] holiday wish list for parents: Because socks and ties won’t cut it


Ah, the holiday season—a time for joy, laughter, and endless shopping mall excursions. The wish lists of parents often get hijacked by well-intentioned gift givers who think another pair of socks or a novelty tie is exactly what we need.

But let’s get real, folks! This year, let’s dream a little bigger and put together a holiday wish list that truly caters to the unsung heroes of the household—parents. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek guide to what parents really want for the holidays.

1. 24-hour solo hotel retreat

Imagine a world where the only noise you hear is your own thoughts and the soothing hum of room service. A full day and night to binge-watch guilty pleasure shows, nap without interruption, and relish in the luxury of not having to share the bathroom with tiny humans. 

2. A full night of uninterrupted sleep

Move over sugar plums; what parents really want is a solid eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. No midnight wake-up calls for water, no monster checks, and certainly no 3 AM requests for a snack. Just the sweet embrace of dreamland from dusk till dawn.

3. Mother-in-law deluxe edition

We love our mothers-in-law, we really do. But this year, let’s kick it up a notch. How about a version that talks less about how we should be raising our kids and helps more with the laundry? Maybe she could even bring some cookies instead of advice. A win-win for everyone!

4. Instantaneous meal prep and planner

Imagine a world where meal prep happens at the snap of your fingers. No more standing in front of the fridge wondering, “What on earth can I cook with a can of beans, some spinach, and a packet of ramen?”

This wish isn’t just about saving time; it’s about avoiding the existential crisis that comes with planning meals for the family. A magical meal prep and planner would be a game-changer, leaving parents with more time for Netflix and less time questioning their life choices.

5. A grocery store where everything is always in stock

A grocery store where everything is perpetually in stock is a parent’s shopping utopia.

Your favorite cereal? Fully stocked. Avocados? Plentiful. No more navigating through the grocery store like you’re on a treasure hunt, and running to three different stores for that one ingredient you forgot.

This wish isn’t just about convenience; it’s about reclaiming the hours spent wandering the aisles in a dazed stupor, muttering, “I just came in for milk.”

6. Bottomless coffee supply

Move over, socks with funny sayings. This year, parents want a bottomless supply of the good stuff—coffee. No more running out at the worst possible moment. Imagine a world where the coffee pot never runs dry, and parents can face the day with a smile and lots of energy.

7. Magical laundry fairy

We’re not asking for a personal chef (although that would be nice), but a magical laundry fairy would be a game-changer. Imagine never having to sort, wash, or fold clothes again. The laundry basket remains perpetually empty, and our weekends are suddenly free from the tyranny of the spin cycle.

8. Self-cleaning house

Forget robots that can do the vacuuming; what we need is a house that cleans itself. Imagine a place where toys magically find their way back into the toy box, and dirty dishes march themselves into the dishwasher. A tidy home without lifting a finger – now that’s a holiday miracle.

9. Spontaneous babysitting vouchers

Instead of a generic babysitting service, how about a set of spontaneous babysitting vouchers? Redeemable at any moment, these golden tickets grant parents the freedom to enjoy a spontaneous date night or an afternoon nap without prior notice.

Here’s to hoping that the universe delivers on the real-life wishlist of every parent out there. Happy holidays, and may your dreams of uninterrupted sleep and self-cleaning houses come true!

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