How infant sleep affects fathers

Infant sleep problems cost fathers sleep too, just less than mothers, and they raise the risk of anxiety and depression. Research on infant sleep effects on fathers has shed light on this issue, even though most of the conversation around postpartum exhaustion still centers on moms.

Most people assume mothers carry the bulk of sleep deprivation after a baby arrives, largely because of breastfeeding and the sheer intensity of early caregiving. That’s true, but it’s not the whole picture. Fathers are losing sleep too, and the toll it takes on their mental health, their relationships, and their ability to function at work is only recently getting the research attention.

This guide breaks down what the science says about how infant sleep affects fathers, plus a practical infant sleep schedule and infant sleep aid tips to help everyone in the house sleep a little better.

How much sleep do new fathers actually lose?

A long-term study tracking parents’ sleep from before pregnancy through six years postpartum found a clear difference in the first three months after birth:

Parent	Average sleep lost per night (first 3 months)
Mothers	About 62 minutes (just over an hour)
Fathers	About 13 minutes

Source: Richter, D. et al. (2019). Long-term effects of pregnancy and childbirth on sleep satisfaction and duration of first-time and experienced mothers and fathers. Sleep, 42(4).

Fatigue vs. tiredness

Fatigue and tiredness are often used interchangeably, but they describe different experiences. 

Tiredness typically refers to a temporary state of low energy or weariness that can be relieved by rest or sleep. It’s a feeling of being physically or mentally drained after exertion or lack of sleep.

Unlike tiredness, fatigue is overwhelming tiredness, coupled with constant exhaustion and lack of energy which in turn causes impaired cognitive and physical functioning. 

Studies conducted by BMC Psychology suggest that fatigue can also lead to postpartum depression.

Paternal fatigue

Parenthood can cause sleep deprivation and fatigue for both mothers and fathers. In a recent review which included a sample of 14,000+ fathers, findings indicate that:

1. Levels of stress, anxiety, and mental health issues are more common among fathers when their child experiences sleep problems.
2. Fathers are tired too and experience sleep deprivation and fatigue, albeit less than mothers.
3. Sleep deprivation directly contributes to depression.
4. Co-sleeping can help fathers bond more with their babies.
5. Sleep-deprived dads experience more verbal conflict and relationship problems with their partners.

The cognitive and emotional toll of sleep deprivation

While mothers often receive attention for postpartum sleep disturbances, fathers are equally susceptible to the adverse effects of disrupted sleep. A longitudinal study tracking parents from pregnancy through the first year postpartum found that fathers experienced shorter sleep durations and reported subclinical insomnia symptoms in about 50% of cases.

These sleep challenges were linked to increased stress and reduced sleep quality, particularly during the initial months after childbirth.

Sleep deprivation doesn’t just affect daily functioning either.  A study published in Midwifery highlighted that fathers’ sleep problems were associated with poorer mental health outcomes, including depression and anxiety, as well as impaired relationships with partners and infants.

Paternal postnatal depression

Clinical Neuropsychiatry examined 26 studies investigating the correlation between infant sleep and paternal parenting, self-efficacy, and mental health. The research found that paternal postnatal depression is affected by child-driven and parent-driven factors, including:

1. Perceived infant sleep problems at four and six months.
2. Baby’s sleep regressions at eight months and 12 months of age.
3. Unhealthy bedtime habits at nine months, including being placed in the crib already asleep or being put to bed with a bottle.
4. Frequent night awakenings at the one and three-month mark.

The study also found that fathers experience significant self-doubt around their baby’s sleep. If a baby is having difficulty sleeping, fathers often assume they’re responsible in some way, despite mothers typically being more involved in a baby’s sleep rituals, at least in the first three years of life.

Can paternal depression affect the baby?

Yes. Research suggests that fathers experiencing depression can influence various aspects of their child’s development and well-being, including.

Paternal depression can have adverse effects on the well-being of the child, such as –

1. Fewer well-check visits and less attention to the baby’s health.
2. Disruption of the marital and family relationship.
3. Decreased emotional engagement between father and child.
4. Impact on the child’s socioemotional development.
5. Influence on the child’s behavior and mental health outcomes.
6. Contribution to family stress and conflict.

This is exactly why fathers must be given the right support and treatment. Depression can impact both men and women at any time.

Why do dads experience prenatal and postnatal depression?

A study by the Journal of Affective Disorders found that fathers are at a high risk of depression during the first trimester, and that depression among fathers peaks between three and six months postpartum. 

Prenatal and postnatal depression among dads can occur for a variety of reasons, including:

1. Hormones: Most fathers experience a shift in hormones, particularly lowered testosterone, during their partner’s pregnancy and after.
2. Partner’s depression: If mothers are depressed, then at least half of the husbands/partners show signs of depression as well.
3. Parental disconnection: Fathers often feel disconnected from the bonding experience with the baby as the mothers inadvertently monopolize the baby.
4. Psychological adjustment: Becoming a parent takes getting used to and requires a great deal of coping, which can be overwhelming for new dads.
5. History of depression: A family history can affect fathers during pregnancy and after birth, just as it can mothers.
6. Sleep deprivation: Most fathers (and moms) underestimate how much their sleep deprivation contributes to anxiety and depression.

Other contributing factors include a lack of support at work due to short paternity leave, financial stress, relationship problems, recent loss, and a premature birth or a colicky baby.

What are the signs of paternal depression?

Depression presents differently among men and women. While fatigue, appetite changes, and sleep difficulties are common to both, men tend to display fewer emotional expressions, like crying.

A few signs worth watching for, both during a partner’s pregnancy and afterward:

1. A sudden outburst of anger or violent behavior.
2. Sudden risk-taking or impulsive behavior like increased alcohol consumption.
3. A lack of motivation, including working more or less.
4. Increased irritability.
5. Suicidal thoughts.
6. Difficulty concentrating.
7. Withdrawing from relationships.
8. Physical symptoms like indigestion, headaches, muscle aches.

Common anxiety symptoms in expectant and new fathers

A study published in J Psychosom Obstet Gynaecol found that anxiety is also common among men during and after their partner’s pregnancy, and can cause:

• Panic attacks
• A feeling of impending doom
• Difficulty concentrating
• Excessive worry and nervousness
• Obsessive-compulsive symptoms

An editorial published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics encouraged pediatricians to assess mental health among all new parents irrespective of gender. If these symptoms of depression persist longer than two weeks, it is best to consult a doctor.

Infant sleep schedule and sleep aids that actually help

A lot of paternal sleep loss happens because a baby who wakes often causes a father to wake often too. Knowing roughly what to expect at each age, and a few genuinely useful sleep aids, can shorten that gap. 

For a full month-by-month breakdown of naps, wake windows, and bedtimes, see our baby sleep schedule guide. Here’s the short version:

• Newborns (0-3 months) sleep 14-17 hours a day, but in short, scattered stretches with no real day/night rhythm yet.
• By 4-6 months, most babies consolidate into longer nighttime stretches and 2-3 daytime naps.
• By 6+ months, a more predictable bedtime and nap schedule starts to take shape for most babies.

A few sleep aids that consistently help, for babies and for the parents losing sleep alongside them:

• A consistent bedtime routine. The same few steps, in the same order, every night, so your baby’s body starts to recognize sleep is coming.
• White noise, to mask household sound and mimic the constant noise of the womb.
• Watching wake windows rather than the clock. An overtired baby often fights sleep harder than a baby put down at the right time.

Cradlewise Tip: A consistent white noise track and dim lighting for night feeds is good for your baby, and it can help you fall back asleep faster too, since your own nervous system settles to the same cues over time.

Co-sleeping with newborn: Bonding and safety

“Co-sleeping” is often used loosely, but the distinction is important for your baby’s safety. Room-sharing means your baby sleeps in their own crib or bassinet in your room. Bed-sharing means your baby sleeps in the same bed as you. 

Room-sharing, without bed-sharing is recommended for at least the first six months. A few safety basics if you’re room-sharing:

• A firm, flat sleep surface for your baby in their own crib or bassinet, not a shared bed, couch, or armchair.
• Nothing else in the sleep space. No pillows, heavy bedding, or soft toys.
• Keep your baby’s sleep space within reach of your bed for easy nighttime feeds, without bringing them into your bed to sleep.

Room-sharing still helps in bonding as you are still close to your baby, you can respond to them quickly, and be a part of those middle-of-the-night moments, without the added risk that comes with bed-sharing.

How can new parents prioritize sleep?

According to The Sleep Foundation, parents should prioritize their sleep to have the energy to care for their new baby and recommend:

1. Create a restful sleep space: A cool, quiet, dark bedroom for yourself, just as you’d create for your baby
2. Establish boundaries with visitors: It’s okay to say no to visits in the first few months while you build a routine that works. 
3. Share nighttime care duties: Take turns waking to feed, change, or comfort your child, so each parent gets an ‘on’ and ‘off’ night.
4. Engage in self-care activities: Take time for yourself to read a book, play a video game, or go for a run to boost your mental health.

Conclusion

Fathers aren’t always the primary caregiver, but infant sleep problems can affect their own sleep more than most people realize. Fathers play an important role in the upbringing and happiness of their family, and that’s harder to do while running on 13 fewer minutes of sleep, night after night, for months. 

Encouraging healthy sleep patterns among fathers, not just mothers, is important for avoiding anxiety, depression, and fatigue down the line. Both parents must get the support and the sleep they need to be there for their partner and their child.

You may also like:

• 25 TV dads we all love: Father’s Day edition.
• Dad starter pack: Surviving the first year.
• Fetal microchimerism: How your baby’s cells stay in your body.

Sources: 

1. How much sleep do parents lose. Sleep, 42(4). 2019. Long-term effects of pregnancy and childbirth on sleep satisfaction and duration of first-time and experienced mothers and fathers. 
2. Fatigue can also lead to postpartum depression. BMC Psychology. 2023. The relationship between fatigue, sleep quality, resilience, and the risk of postpartum depression: an emphasis on maternal mental health.
3. Paternal fatigue. Sleep Medicine Reviews. 2022. Children’s sleep and fathers’ health and wellbeing: A systematic review.
4. Fathers experienced shorter sleep durations. Sleep. 2023. Sleep of mothers, fathers, and infants: a longitudinal study from pregnancy through 12 months.
5. Father’s sleep problems and poor mental health. Midwifery. 2020. Sleep, mental health, and wellbeing among fathers of infants up to one year postpartum: A scoping review.
6. Paternal postnatal depression. Clinical Neuropsychiatry. 2020. Fathers and Sleep: A Systematic Literature Review of Bidirectional Links Between Paternal Factors and Children’s Sleep in the First Three Years of Life.
7. One in every 10 dads experiences postnatal depression. UT Southwestern Medical Center. 2021. 1 in 10 dads experience postpartum depression, anxiety: How to spot the signs.
8. Can paternal depression affect the baby. Prim Care Companion CNS Disord 2023;25(1):22r03303. 2023. Impact of paternal depression on child neurodevelopmental outcomes and disorders. 
9. Fathers are at a high risk of depression during the first trimester. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2019. Prevalence of prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers: A comprehensive meta-analysis of observational surveys.
10. Many fathers experience a drop in testosterone during their partner’s pregnancy. Hormones and Behavior. 2023. Prenatal testosterone synchrony in first-time parents predicts fathers’ postpartum relationship quality.
11. Anxiety in expectant and new fathers. J Psychosom Obstet Gynaecol. 2021. Anxiety among fathers during the prenatal and postpartum period: a meta-analysis.
12. Screening for mental health in all parents. AAP. 2020. A Call to Action: Screening Fathers for Perinatal Depression.
13. Co-sleeping with newborn. AAP. 2026. Safe Sleep Tips for Sleep-Deprived New Parents.